On January ninth 2016 I began writing the third part of my second trilogy, an existential, speculative fiction piece about time travel, war, friendship, ethics, and purpose. On August third 2016 (at about two-thirty AM) I wrote the ending to that story, coming out to 242,593 in 607 pages for the third installment, written over the course of 207 days. That’s on average 2.93 pages written per day, or 1,171 words written per day.
Compare that to 470 pages or 164,452 words written in 434 days for the second part, an average of 1.08 pages per day, or 378 words per day.
Compare that to 449 pages or 139,510 words written in 2236 days for the first part, an average of 0.2 pages per day, or a whopping 62 words per day.
After writing about one hundred pages in the first part of this story back in 2008, I got terribly distracted by other projects, started and finished an entire other novel, “O”, and got distracted by years of anxiety and depression exasperated by, shall we say, ‘relationship problems’ and ‘social fears’. Most of that first part was written, and it was finished, while I was working full time, going to school part time, and failing to save an intimate relationship. I considered my habits of motivation and time management to be poor, and I often had to reread the entirety of what I had already written, because I couldn’t keep it all straight in my conscious mind. Looking back on it and considering my self-perspective during that time, I suppose that I did pretty all right, but I was terribly disappointed with my self. During the writing of the second part, between late 2014 and January ninth 2016, I made an effort to get my shit together, to break down my morbid attachments and learn how to be sustained emotionally on /healthy/ validation from peers, the awe and wonder of art, and the satisfaction of personal accomplishment. During the writing of the third book, I streamlined my life, maintained the writing as a top priority, and kept on reinforcing my new, healthier cognitive/emotional habits. I have a lot to show for it, but the easiest to figure is in those numbers above. I multiplied the productivity of the most important project of my life (so far) by 14.65 times. There’s still a lot of editing to do (I have per haps twenty pages of notes to go through and apply), and then the terrifying decisions and loathsome waiting periods that are associated with publishing, but the part that makes me confident in my identity and self-worth is complete.
It’s been six months since my last blog post here. Most of that time was spent working (I had just started a new job before my last post, and there was a lot of overtime for the first four months), writing that damned story (still tentatively titled There is no Time), and trying not to get distracted from writing that damned story, but a lot more happened too. Ten excellent friends and family members visited me from out of state (and I visited friends and family back home one week); I made some new friends here in Denver; I got a promotion and an additional raise at the food bank; I had my first cup of coffee; I confirmed that I can achieve days of bliss without attachment, I conquered a bad case of intestinal parasites, and I absorbed the wonderful aesthetics of Bioshock Infinite (for the second time), Hyper Light Drifter, Ergo Proxy, (the anime mini-series) Noir (for the second time, reliving a major part of my high school years), and the latest season of Game of Thrones.
I’ve had lots of ideas that I wanted to blog about, but couldn’t justify the time spent. Some of the subjects were recorded in notes, and I’ll get to fleshing them out as posts, and some of them just went in to my story in stead. I’ve a lot of other projects to work on now, but they’re all smaller in scope, and are easier to focus on in small chunks. Because of this, I expect this blog to soon come back to life. As for right now, this is just a simple life update, mostly to keep good record of this accomplishment and these times so that my brain doesn’t have to.